2003-08-27 - 11:36 p.m.

I saw my urologist today. While we were sitting in his office having our post exam talk, I found myself getting teary over our topic of conversation:babies He keeps asking if The G and I are going to have any and when are we planning to do so. I had to explain to him that I've got some weight to get off, to which he interrupted with "What about all those heavier ladies who get pregnant and have babies?" All I could say was that I know how hard it is on my body to be overweight now, being pregnant at this weight would overtax my heart and possibly my kidneys. Dr Hong is so nice and so caring, I felt myself opening up to him and it was really hard for me to not cry about how frustrated I am that we don't already have babies. I've known him a year and a half and every time I see him, he tells me to have some babies. Doesn't he understand that each and every time he says this, it gets a little harder to laugh it off?

As he walked me out, he said "You and Greg will make great parents-I see you as a wonderful mama". I got to my car and cried in the heat of my car in the unshaded parking lot. Why's this got to be so hard?

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