2003-04-17 - 10:15 a.m.

As it is near Easter, for some unknown reason, I've been craving hard boiled eggs. (This happens every Easter and I'm beginning to think someone, somewhere, is subliminally trying to get me to color and hide them in the yard.) I've never been able to conquer the mystery that are hard boiled eggs. Every time I want to make them, I have to get the cook book out. They are eggs. You put them in water. Boil. Flush with cold water. Peel and eat. How hard can it be? Well let's just take a gander now, shall we?

You can make the (often made) mistake of undercooking them, but you won't know it until you crack them open and get grossed out by the mushy and still somewhat mucus like yolk.

You can make the (often made) mistake of overcooking them, but you won't know it until you crack one open and the once pretty golden yellow yolk has now turned to puce green.

You can make the (often made) mistake-anyone see a trend here?-of cooking them too hard and end up breaking them while cooking and then you end up with scramby egg water and a stink that won't go away for weeks unless you burn a zillion candles or cook fish (in which lies a whole different stink to get rid of).

I dug out my trusty Better Homes and Gardens cookbook and looked up Hard Boiled Eggs (or rather, hard COOKED eggs) and found out the precise timing on how to handle this delicate situation. I used COLD water, just enough to cover em, and let it get to boiling and then did the whole cover, turn the heat down, and simmer bit for 15 minutes. I didn't take the lid off. I didn't adjust the heat. I set my timer (and no, heh heh, not the egg timer) and waited patiently for perfect hard boiled eggs.

When the timer beeped at me, I followed the instructions and put them in cold water. No, I didn't do them a la Martha Stewart and lift them with a copper strainer gently from the boiling water and put them in an ice bath. I put the pan in the sink and ran cold water into it. They didn't break, didn't crack, and didn't smell suspicious so I figured all was well.

An hour later, after they'd been chilling in the fridge, I made my move and cracked one open. Behold! A smooth white, sort of gelatinous but firmer case around a pretty yellow yolk with no sign of green over-done-ness! Success!! I ate that one quickly and then cracked two more for salads for G and I. This morning I cracked two more just for me, and the second one I got the shell off in one smooth, continuous spiral.

I loves me some hard boiled eggs. Thank you Better Homes and Gardens!

side note: it's a good thing I'm not having my cholesterol checked any time soon....all those eggs will show their ugly little yolks on my test!

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